Tag Archive for 'funny'

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by
Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Mexican Word Of the Day!

HARASSMENT:
Orale vato my vieja caught me in bed with my sancha pero that’s okay cuz I tol her that HARASSMENT nothing to me!

BISHOP:
We went to the movies and Lupe fell down and I had to pick the BISHOP!!

INJURE:
Me and my jefe were playin poker and he beat me… he said INJURE face cabron!!

FRITO:
After arguing with the pinche policia he tol me i wuz FRITO go.

SODAS:
My vieja has fat nalgas and SODAS her sister.

JUICY:
I was rolling blunts with my homie and said let me know if juicy the cops!!

WATER:
My vieja gets mad and I don’t even know WATER problem is?

BUTTER/LETTUCE:
Me and my ruca wanna get married BUTTER parents won’t LETTUCE.

RECTUM:
I bought my ruca 2 cars but, the pendeja RECTUM.

TISSUE:
I tol you if you didnt know how to do it, I could TISSUE

WAFER:
I wanted to go to the movies with my friends, pero los mensos didn’t WAFER me.

OMELETTE:
I shudda kicked you out last night, but OMELETTE it go this time.

JULY:
Ju told me ju were going to the store and JULY to me

HORCHATA:
You can keep talking your crap HORCHATA hell up.

PUTA:
PUTA phone down and get to work.

CHEESE:
Maria likes me but CHEESE ugly.

JUAREZ:
My girl slapped me and I said JUAREZ you’re your problem.

CASHEW:
Stop running so fast cause I can’t CASHEW.

TEXAS:
My girl always TEXAS, me wondering where I is when I am not home.


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